☀️
🌙

"I've already lost everything": how to escape addiction's most treacherous trap

Slips happen — but believing that all is lost can be the

Person sitting on the floor leaning against the bed, with a defeated expression, but with a small ray of light coming through the bedroom's half-open door illuminating the person's face

The thought that most sabotages those trying to change

"I've already lost everything."

"After this, there's no going back."

"Now it doesn't matter anymore."

If you've ever caught yourself thinking something like this after a relapse, know that this is part of the addiction cycle. And it doesn't have to be the end of the road.

This sabotaging thought appears in two main ways:

  1. During a gambling session:

    The person bets a large amount, regrets it, and thinks:

"I've already lost anyway… so now I'll go all the way to try to recover it."

This thought fuels the impulse even more, creating a spiral of losses.

  1. During recovery:

    After some time without gambling, the person has a relapse and thinks:

"I ruined everything. I gambled after all that time... so there's no point anymore."

This is where the danger lies: this thought leads to abandoning the entire process — as if one failure erased all previous effort.

The difference between a slip and a relapse

One of the most important points of this session is learning to reframe the mistake.

Instead of seeing the slip as a complete defeat, you can view it as a natural part of the process. This is what psychology calls:

  • Slip = isolated stumble
  • Relapse = complete return to old behavior

The difference between the two isn't in the mistake itself, but in what you do after it.

It's possible to stumble and still remain standing.

How to respond in practice: the "moving forward" technique

Inspired by CBT and recovery programs, this technique teaches three central attitudes:

  1. Acknowledge the mistake without spiraling into guilt.
  2. Cut your losses: don't try to recover what you lost on impulse.
  3. Move forward with a symbolic gesture: change your environment, reinforce your commitment, or send a message of resumption.

Phrases like:

  • "Okay, I lost that amount. But I won't lose tomorrow."
  • "I slipped today, but this doesn't erase everything I've built so far."
  • "What can I do right now that brings me closer to my recovering self?"

These thoughts put you back in control and help break the self-sabotage cycle.

Scientific basis

The literature on relapses in substance use disorders shows that the way an individual interprets a slip has a significant impact on the risk of total relapse. A study published in Psychology of Addictive Behaviors showed that people who adopt a self-compassion approach after slips are 3x more likely to successfully regain control than those who spiral into guilt and give up[1].

Practical application: create your recovery ritual

  • Save a coping phrase on your phone to remember during difficult moments.
  • Communicate with your support group: say "I slipped, but I'm back."
  • Perform a symbolic action, like deleting an app or writing down what you learned from the mistake.

These small gestures signal to the brain that the mistake isn't the end of the line, but part of the journey.

Scientific references

[1] Hendershot, C.S., Witkiewitz, K., George, W.H. et al. Relapse prevention for addictive behaviors. Subst Abuse Treat Prev Policy 6, 17 (2011). https://doi.org/10.1186/1747-597X-6-17

Loading comments...