You started off excited. You had that "this is it!" feeling. You were committed, confident. But then… a tough week came, results took longer than expected, the excitement faded, and the thought crept in:
"Can I really do this?"
If you've experienced this cycle, take a deep breath.
It's not a sign of failure. It's a sign that you're on the right track.
The Hype–Crash Cycle
Every journey of real change – quitting gambling, changing habits, losing weight, leaving an abusive relationship, studying consistently – goes through a predictable cycle. It has two main phases:
- Hype Phase: that initial excitement. Motivation is sky-high. You feel confident, willing, enthusiastic. It's like the beginning of a new relationship or the first week at the gym.
- Crash Phase: the excitement starts to fade. Life gets busy, results don't come as quickly, the effort feels heavy. And then come the doubts, the discouragement, the urge to give up.
This pattern has been described in several studies on behavior change, such as Marlatt and Gordon's relapse model (1985), which shows how motivation typically drops before new habits stabilize[1].
You're Not Alone
Knowing that this fluctuation is a normal part of the process changes everything.
You stop thinking "I'm not cut out for this" and start realizing:
"Oh, it's the recovery roller coaster… I know this will pass."
This relieves guilt and increases your resilience.
Studies on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) interventions and relapse prevention programs show that normalizing the ups and downs helps maintain consistency, which is the greatest predictor of success in lasting change[2].
How to Face the Crash Without Giving Up?
When motivation drops – and at some point it will – have a prepared response.
Here are 3 strategies to build "antibodies" against discouragement:
- Remember your why: go back to your core reason. What brought you here? What has improved in your life since you stopped gambling?
- Adjust expectations: change takes time. Real progress is slow and often imperceptible day to day.
- Keep going even when you don't feel like it: consistency is more important than excitement. On the days you push through on autopilot, you're training your emotional discipline.
What If the Drop Is Severe?
Sometimes the Crash is deep. In these moments, it's worth looking at concrete achievements (less debt? More presence with family? Less anxiety?) and activating tools learned in previous sessions, such as:
- Emotional self-regulation techniques (breathing, self-support list)
- Remembering that motivational relapses are not behavioral relapses
- Reaching out to someone to vent or ask for help
Conclusion
There is no straight line in recovery.
There is a path with curves, climbs, descents — and consistency.
You don't need to be excited every day.
You just need to keep walking.
The next time discouragement hits, try thinking:
"I haven't failed. It's just the Crash after the Hype. It will pass."
Scientific References:
[1] Marlatt, G. A., & Gordon, J. R. (1985). Relapse prevention: Maintenance strategies in the treatment of addictive behaviors. Guilford Press.
[2] Hayes, S. C., Strosahl, K. D., & Wilson, K. G. (1999). Acceptance and Commitment Therapy: An experiential approach to behavior change. Guilford Press.
[3] Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change in smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395.